My Choice is my Happiness

It has never struck my mind that I’ll be a relationship person come this days. But I am or should I say, I was. Let’s delimit my definition of a relationship:
Relationship\-shən-ˌship\ - the state of being affectionate to same/opposite gender for romance.

I won’t deny the fact that I was so engrossed to an affectionate romance inside-out. It was recently that I have engaged myself in such manners of showing love not only to my better half but also to my family. I thank my “ex-s“ because they became the instrument why I have a better dealing with my family now. But as always the case, relationship doesn’t last long, or at least, factors make relationship not last long. It’s a tribulation I hate the most in this affair. Break-up ends up cunningly, dreadfully, adversely…huh, say what you want. It whiles to weeks, months or years before the party/-ies involved could say, “I have moved on.” Worse comes to worst when the unfortunate lover clings to lies that hope is there, as such, this is just a test of faith and love; but to no avail, it’s the end. Say, it’s the end that is, parting ways, no more chance, to one’s own life, etc.

Moving on.
This is like a purgatory of love. It’s a brink of honesty, lies, delusion, reality, deceit to one’s emotional state. Matter-of-factly, it’s a breakdown of one’s senses.

‘Been there.’
You know, if you really loved someone so dear and unconditionally, it’s so hard to move one. I recall myself saying a piece before that in love (relationship), there is always the one who really loves more than the other loving him back. What if you were the former? What if you were the one who loved more than your partner? That is so painful. It kills you every moment of your life and it’s so hard disengaging yourself from the recalls of your experiences. You’ll never know what to do and what you can do to yourself. It’s devastation.

After a while…

A relief…

Blissful mind…

Tranquility…

I like that fact that everything has its pros and cons, like in a relationship. It’s a wheel to deal; sometimes, you’re up, the other times, your down. It’s where and when you grow up, becoming more mature individual, wiser than they thought of you.
I learn and I become stronger with experience. But admittedly, I am ignorant with love. However smart you are, you’ll breakdown with love. But look on the brighter side. It’s a learning experience that one can be proud of, beating the winds of change, the bustles of emotions and the likes.
If you ask me, though, “Are you willing to have another relationship?”
No. I’m afraid.
I know, I learn; but I’ll pass.
Not for now. I’m just happy being my own. I learn how to love myself more than ever.
Till the next time…

I Love You, It's Over

They say that in a relationship, one gives the most of himself, i.e., one gives the utmost love while the other reserves something. Hence, it can never be on the same extent of love. This is, as they claim, love. Who are they? People in loved, thus, blame it to experience.
Relationship is never always a cloud 9 experience. It may be almost always, but never at all times. Besides, as they say, two people will never grow together in a relationship if they won’t struggle at all. It’s just a fairytale, an artificial celebration of bond. A plastic, so to speak. During the lowest of lows in a relationship, both or any of the parties may decide unwisely; or maybe, because of the spur of moment, reckless decision commences by both or one party. Let me be bias to the underdog. Say, he is the one who’s giving everything to his partner, thus, decides to keep the relationship going. In other words, he’s the unreserved lover. But alas! The other partner is firm with his decision.
“Let us call this an end.”
Would you imagine how devastating to him that everything ends up to nothing however hopeful he is?
It’s a sad story that merely thinking of it makes me want to stay single in status. Now, the almost-perfect lover, the former, does everything to "found" the relationship back. For whatever reason/s, the other doesn’t want to push through. Let us just give him the benefit of the doubt. Come several days, weeks and months from the break-up and nothing changes his mind to rebuild the warmth of love with this underdog lover. On the hand, he takes all the measures to delight him, thinking and hoping that he would love him again.
Several months have passed, worse has engulfed the situation. The latter flirts around while he stays steadfast to him….. Then one day, he came back to his senses. He knew that he has drastically engaged himself to all ways and means of winning back the downfallen relationship.. He is decided now. It’s finally goodbye.

Love is not Waste

Why does one can't get over someone in a snap of a finger?
Why does he cry over spilt milk? Huh, cliché.
Why do you falter on a shuttered relationship?

You care; you love; I know!

He is not your life, though.

Who are you before you were with him? You were someone who was, probably, a nobody or somebody. Regardless, you had a life.

Relationship is relative; and I’m not in the position to push these pieces of advice.

I may be speaking for a person who is dear to me; but by Jove, it all boils down to atonement of life, self-punishment, squandering one’s self to unproductive life!

There is a life after demise.

Move on.

Accept it.

Easy said than done, eh. It’s another cliché.

You don’t have to be a loser like me before. It’s not about cynicism. It’s about realistic approach to almost anything…to love, particularly.

I’m not a love doctor. What drives me to impart this unsolicited advice is that I’ve seen many relationships fall apart, lovers go astray, lovers disheartened; and it’s just so sad to think that life becomes useless. It seems that everything fall apart. Their world is love; and once love (lover) is lost, the other party doesn’t know what to do.

It’s really hard to move on. I’m also speaking for myself. I was even at the verge of destroying my life, i.e., suicide. I just realized how I stupefied myself for such an ordeal.

Nonetheless, I survived.

You, too, can survive this torment.

How would you do it?

It’s relative. You know yourself. It’s you who can answer that question. As I’ve said, I’m just imparting my observation, my experience, someone else’s, hoping that this would be a counsel to you. You can reached me at this blogspot, though, if you want to dig in what you have…

Punto sa Pag-ibig

Galing kay Bob Ong


1. “Kung hindi mo mahal ang isang tao, wag ka nang magpakita ng motibo para mahalin ka niya.”
2. “Huwag mong bitawan ang bagay na hindi mo kayang makitang hawak ng iba.”
3. “Huwag mong hawakan kung alam mong bibitawan mo lang.”
4. “Huwag na huwag ka hahawak kapag alam mong may hawak ka na.”

5. “Parang elevator lang yan eh, bakit mo pagsisiksikan ung sarili mo kung walang pwesto para sayo. Eh meron naman hagdan, ayaw mo lang pansinin.”
6. “Kung maghihintay ka ng lalandi sayo, walang mangyayari sa buhay mo… Dapat lumandi ka din.”
7. “Pag may mahal ka at ayaw sayo, hayaan mo. Malay mo sa mga susunod na araw ayaw mo na din sa kanya, naunahan ka lang.”
8. “Hiwalayan na kung di ka na masaya. Walang gamot sa tanga kundi pagkukusa.”
9. “Pag hindi ka mahal ng mahal mo wag ka magreklamo. Kasi may mga tao rin na di mo mahal pero mahal ka… Kaya quits lang.”
10. “Kung dalawa ang mahal mo, piliin mo yung pangalawa. Kasi hindi ka naman magmamahal ng iba kung mahal mo talaga yung una.”
11. “Hindi porke’t madalas mong ka-chat, kausap sa telepono, kasama sa mga lakad o ka-text ng wantusawa eh may gusto sayo at magkakatuluyan kayo. Meron lang talagang mga taong sadyang friendly, sweet, flirt, malandi, pa-fall o paasa.”
12. “Huwag magmadali sa babae o lalaki. Tatlo, lima , sampung taon, mag-iiba ang pamantayan mo at maiisip mong hindi pala tamang pumili ng kapareha dahil lang maganda o nakakalibog ito. Totoong mas mahalaga ang kalooban ng tao higit sa anuman. Sa paglipas ng panahon, maging ang mga crush ng bayan nagmumukha ding pandesal, maniwala ka.”
13. “Minsan kahit ikaw ang nakaschedule, kailangan mo pa rin maghintay, kasi hindi ikaw ang priority.”
14. “Mahirap pumapel sa buhay ng tao. Lalo na kung hindi ikaw yung bida sa script na pinili niya.”
15. “Alam mo ba kung gaano kalayo ang pagitan ng dalawang tao pag nagtalikuran na sila? Kailangan mong libutin ang buong mundo para lang makaharap ulit ang taong tinalikuran mo.”
16. “Mas mabuting mabigo sa paggawa ng isang bagay kesa magtagumpay sa paggawa ng wala.”
17. “Hindi lahat ng kaya mong intindihin ay katotohan, at hindi lahat ng hindi mo kayang intindihin ay kasinungalingan.”
18. “Kung nagmahal ka ng taong di dapat at nasaktan ka, wag mong sisihin ang puso mo. Tumitibok lang yan para mag-supply ng dugo sa katawan mo. Ngayon, kung magaling ka sa anatomy at ang sisisihin mo naman ay ang hypothalamus mo na kumokontrol ng emotions mo, mali ka pa rin! Bakit? Utang na loob! Wag mong isisi sa body organs mo ang mga sama ng loob mo sa buhay! Tandaan mo: magiging masaya ka lang kung matututo kang tanggapin na hindi ang puso, utak, atay o bituka mo ang may kasalanan sa lahat ng nangyari sayo, kundi IKAW mismo!”
19. “Pakawalan mo yung mga bagay na nakakasakit sa iyo kahit na pinasasaya ka nito. Wag mong hintayin ang araw na sakit na lang ang nararamdaman mo at iniwan ka na ng kasiyahan mo.”
20. “Gamitin ang puso para alagaan ang mga taong malalapit sa iyo. Gamitin ang utak para alagaan ang sarili mo.”
21. “Ang pag-ibig parang imburnal… nakakatakot mahulog… at kapag nahulog ka, it’s either by accident or talagang tanga ka.”

Copyrights belong to Bob Ong and/or his Publisher

When is Love Enough?

One can give all the meaning of love... It's relative.
But one can't dispute one's love against the other's experience.
Pieces of advice will settle it.

When do we say that enough is everything that settles the unfortunate of affection?
Should the person need to submit himself to bitter experience of break-up?
Should he hope for a second, third, or the nth of his demise relationship?

Who can tell but he, himself, right?

It's so funny that bright people become preposterous, i.e., dull, ridiculous, absurd, laughable (say it) when love kicks in.

I am guilty.

But I enjoyed it. Though, the worse of it was moving on. It really hurt especially when you give everything to the person without reserving a bit to yourself.
It's love. How can you contest that?
You can't really dictate your heart that enough for the love, that you're giving too much.
Would you not give your best to the person you love?
Do you love him if you won't do it?
Who says you should do it?
Do you really love him?
To what extent is your love?

These are like existential questions which anyone has opinion about and each is true, thus, incontestable.

But when is enough?

I don't know. I speak for myself.

I hoped...I prayed...I did everything to keep the relationship from faltering...

Can I say that it's enough?

I was exhausted...so worn out.

I don't know when I said it's enough. But I felt it.

It was all I need to change my life.

So do I know when one should say enough?

NO! Definitely, not.
It’s he, himself, who will discern when enough is everything.

Love is a worthwhile experience. Live with it. Make the most out of it. Just be prepare about falling out from it .

Why drag Yourself?!?

For the past 5 or 6 years of my life, I've been in a humdrum of relationships, hetero or homo-type.... ('got probably my sexual orientation, right?). Yeah, I'm bi! I'm not proud, not ashame nor disonored,though. It's life! Don't dare dictate what I want. Don't even think about morale because I'll do what I want..'don't care about what people say. I care most what I want only if no one get's hurt.

I know my life from the sprout.

Going back, my relationships are chapters of my life I'll always be proud of. Ups and downs...cliche! That's life. Touche.

There was one,though, which I really devoted all blood and sweat. Probably, my most loved partner...Err it! It's explicit!!! I love this person; all my time, i have given him my all, my everything beyond my practice. Nay, he has my life.

Never have I also engaged on any lascivious deeds of any sort. I am proud to mention this.

After a long-time bonding... the relationship fell apart....

It was the lowest of my lows.

I did everything to mend the relationship, but Alas!, all ended in despair.


♀♂


This is a short story of love affair...It may seem familiar; some might think it as a boring, mushy saga... Blame it to emotions! This is how I vent out my inner self.

What's the question?

What am I now?

I haven't really moved on. One would see me all face lit up. But deep within is a Janus-faced person who conceals sadness with smile...I, who always don't share anguish to anyone but I, myself. I who burdens myself with angst from the break-up.

Why can't I move on?

I know... I have loved him more than anything...more than myself...close to the love I have reserved for God..

Madness or obssession?

Real or reel?

NO!

This is real. Love is life and life is love. I just wasn't able to reserve love for myself. I bit my lips and swallow my pride for what I am dragging now and what I have hold on to as my very piece of advice.

True as they say that it's easy said than done. Why can't I learn from what I say and had before?

It saddens me that I can't even live up to my psyche.

Until when should I burden this pang of pain?

Support person..support group...? That's a good idea. I won't resort to that, though.

I want to go away.. I want to escape this... I'll be leaving the country.. .

That could be the best resort. But is it? I don't know. Who knows? If I'd be there, I can divert my all to my work just to realize my long-time dream of becoming an affluent individual by own sweat. Things might turn out favorably convenient to both parties or so...

No, i won't drag myself....

I live my heart where I have found and founded it....

I'll stay as who I am...



A single....